(Source: liquidmeth)
Too many decisions to make; too many dreams to follow; too many tears to shed; too many things to learn; too many injustices to witness; too many goals to fight for; too many songs to listen to; too many places to travel; too many days and nights to live; I just hope to have enough time.
I am going through many changes... Everything is happening too fast. I feel like I am still a child learning to survive in this world. So many injustices, abuses, crimes. So much intolerance and discrimination that I simply cannot understand. I want to believe that there is something good in every person; even inside those who steal, kill, and cause suffering, but sometimes it is just too hard to believe in them. I want to help. But how? I want to be rich.. I want to feed those who are hungry; I want to teach children who do not have the opportunity to learn; I want to give love to those children who are less fortunate; I want to own a hospital and give people free care; I want to own an orphanage and give children everything they need; I want to save the world. I know I cannot, but I can try, can't I? But when? My life is going by so fast.. I blink and all of a sudden a whole month has gone by. I am in college and I have to dedicate my life to learning and studying. Where in my life right now do I have time to make my dreams come true? Not the dreams about going to college, graduating, becoming an engineer, but instead those inner dreams deep down inside me? I want too many things that sometimes I try to slow down, but the more I think about these things the more I want them and even more ideas ignite in my brain. Like my father, another reason why I want to be rich; I want him to stop working. He works too hard to give my family everything. I feel like it is my turn, it would be like paying him back for everything he has done. Paying back a portion anyway; I don't think I could ever pay him back for everything he has done. I want my brothers to be happy, and parents of course. I also want to travel the world. But to do all these things you need money. Not that I am poor, but I do not have the money for extravagant uses. It is always money. Would it not be better if love was equivalent to money. What if for every certain amount of love inside you, you were given money. Would the rich be poor and the poor be rich? Whatever the answer is, I will try to make my loved ones happy. I want to see them smile at all times. I never want to disappoint them. This is why I have changed so much. Being away from those you love really does change you. I do not ever want to make my mom or dad angry and upset again like I continually did in Intermediate and High School. I want to make them proud and happy instead. And yes, I know I already made them very proud. But something I have learned about myself is that nothing is ever enough. If I accomplish something; there is always another thing waiting for me. It is the cycle of life. I want to fall in love with someone but sometimes I see that far away from happening. I believe there are many things to do and I doubt I am ready for such commitment. I tend to run away from those who show more affection than I think they should. It stinks! But it is the truth. I am also a deep believer of signs. Every time I am feeling confused and do not know what to do, I ask God to send me a sign. But once I get the sign, because I absolutely know it is THE sign, I don't understand what it is trying to tell me.. Yes, I know. I love calendars and making "To Do List"s! I am also currently working on my "To Do List Before I Die"!
I love soccer; I like to learn new languages (love speaking French); Like puns and jokes; Like anything that has to do with arts and crafts. I like optimistic people; nice people; especially people who make me laugh. Ice cream; Snow Cones; Reece's; Cookies & Cream chocolate; Sour candy. I extremely dislike the usage of bad words; People smoking around me, seriously do NOT smoke around me; People drinking around me/bragging about drinking (extremely dumb); unnecessary to say obviously people on drugs; I hate violence and people who get angry too fast; People who cannot rationalize with other people’s opinions. I don’t like English because I am horrible when it comes to writing. I am sadly afraid of dogs… I know, some are very cute and friendly, but I am still afraid of them. I do not like being mean but sometimes I play around with people and I guess that is kind of mean to do. I try to be nice, so if I cannot be nice to you I will stay away. I am not naive and I hate when people think I am simply because I am “too nice”. I just do not like holding anger or being pessimistic. Although at times I can be very pessimistic.. But I am also very optimistic. I love admiring nature. When I am too sad or too happy to share my thoughts with anyone I always take a walk. Here, on campus, it is much easier than it was at home. At home there is not many places where I can walk, but here... There's plenty. I love listening to people talk and I like having long conversations about things I wonder. I want to stop thinking about "What if.." situations but it's hard to. I think sometimes my imagination goes a little too beyond. I guess I am a little shy D: I blush intensely! And I hate it because I cannot control it. I turn into a tomato and even more when people notice it and point it out. I also enjoy annoying my brothers and my cousin. It sounds mean but it is fun! I love my family and my friends. I wish I was a genius! I am not smart, but I work very hard, which I believe makes me some what smart! And I love surprises! I keep repeating myself, so that is it!
I guess I should have said this at the beginning. I think it is unnecessary to say.. But I am eighteen years old, from Houston, Texas! Currently enrolled in Texas A&M, yay Aggies! Majoring in Civil Engineering.
I am going through many changes... Everything is happening too fast. I feel like I am still a child learning to survive in this world. So many injustices, abuses, crimes. So much intolerance and discrimination that I simply cannot understand. I want to believe that there is something good in every person; even inside those who steal, kill, and cause suffering, but sometimes it is just too hard to believe in them. I want to help. But how? I want to be rich.. I want to feed those who are hungry; I want to teach children who do not have the opportunity to learn; I want to give love to those children who are less fortunate; I want to own a hospital and give people free care; I want to own an orphanage and give children everything they need; I want to save the world. I know I cannot, but I can try, can't I? But when? My life is going by so fast.. I blink and all of a sudden a whole month has gone by. I am in college and I have to dedicate my life to learning and studying. Where in my life right now do I have time to make my dreams come true? Not the dreams about going to college, graduating, becoming an engineer, but instead those inner dreams deep down inside me? I want too many things that sometimes I try to slow down, but the more I think about these things the more I want them and even more ideas ignite in my brain. Like my father, another reason why I want to be rich; I want him to stop working. He works too hard to give my family everything. I feel like it is my turn, it would be like paying him back for everything he has done. Paying back a portion anyway; I don't think I could ever pay him back for everything he has done. I want my brothers to be happy, and parents of course. I also want to travel the world. But to do all these things you need money. Not that I am poor, but I do not have the money for extravagant uses. It is always money. Would it not be better if love was equivalent to money. What if for every certain amount of love inside you, you were given money. Would the rich be poor and the poor be rich? Whatever the answer is, I will try to make my loved ones happy. I want to see them smile at all times. I never want to disappoint them. This is why I have changed so much. Being away from those you love really does change you. I do not ever want to make my mom or dad angry and upset again like I continually did in Intermediate and High School. I want to make them proud and happy instead. And yes, I know I already made them very proud. But something I have learned about myself is that nothing is ever enough. If I accomplish something; there is always another thing waiting for me. It is the cycle of life. I want to fall in love with someone but sometimes I see that far away from happening. I believe there are many things to do and I doubt I am ready for such commitment. I tend to run away from those who show more affection than I think they should. It stinks! But it is the truth. I am also a deep believer of signs. Every time I am feeling confused and do not know what to do, I ask God to send me a sign. But once I get the sign, because I absolutely know it is THE sign, I don't understand what it is trying to tell me.. Yes, I know. I love calendars and making "To Do List"s! I am also currently working on my "To Do List Before I Die"!
I love soccer; I like to learn new languages (love speaking French); Like puns and jokes; Like anything that has to do with arts and crafts. I like optimistic people; nice people; especially people who make me laugh. Ice cream; Snow Cones; Reece's; Cookies & Cream chocolate; Sour candy. I extremely dislike the usage of bad words; People smoking around me, seriously do NOT smoke around me; People drinking around me/bragging about drinking (extremely dumb); unnecessary to say obviously people on drugs; I hate violence and people who get angry too fast; People who cannot rationalize with other people’s opinions. I don’t like English because I am horrible when it comes to writing. I am sadly afraid of dogs… I know, some are very cute and friendly, but I am still afraid of them. I do not like being mean but sometimes I play around with people and I guess that is kind of mean to do. I try to be nice, so if I cannot be nice to you I will stay away. I am not naive and I hate when people think I am simply because I am “too nice”. I just do not like holding anger or being pessimistic. Although at times I can be very pessimistic.. But I am also very optimistic. I love admiring nature. When I am too sad or too happy to share my thoughts with anyone I always take a walk. Here, on campus, it is much easier than it was at home. At home there is not many places where I can walk, but here... There's plenty. I love listening to people talk and I like having long conversations about things I wonder. I want to stop thinking about "What if.." situations but it's hard to. I think sometimes my imagination goes a little too beyond. I guess I am a little shy D: I blush intensely! And I hate it because I cannot control it. I turn into a tomato and even more when people notice it and point it out. I also enjoy annoying my brothers and my cousin. It sounds mean but it is fun! I love my family and my friends. I wish I was a genius! I am not smart, but I work very hard, which I believe makes me some what smart! And I love surprises! I keep repeating myself, so that is it!
I guess I should have said this at the beginning. I think it is unnecessary to say.. But I am eighteen years old, from Houston, Texas! Currently enrolled in Texas A&M, yay Aggies! Majoring in Civil Engineering.
